Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy -- only four chapters of Leviticus left, two of which shall be dispensed of forthwith.
Chapter 24 kicks off much the same way the last few chapters have. Some stuff about sweet-smelling oblations, some mumbo-jumbo about 12 cakes covered in frankincense, a little advice on olive oil (no mention of whether God prefers virgin or extra-virgin, however.)
Then out of nowhere -- blammo! Punishment of Blasphemy!
Now I leave it to you to decide just what constitutes blasphemy -- but where I come from, pretty much any instance of taking the Lord's name in vain is blasphemous. So pretty much any use of "Oh my God!" or "Jesus Christ, the Pirates suck" or anything of that nature can be considered blasphemous.
So, what does God have to say about blasphemy? Glad you asked.
In Chapter 24, Verse 10 we're told the story of a man who, in the course of a disagreement, cursed God's name. God gives the following direct order to Moses: "Let the whole community stone him. Whoever blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death."
I remind you once again of the underlying premise of this whole series -- I want all of you who choose to quote the Book of Leviticus when putting your various hatreds on display to begin following ALL of the rules of Leviticus, instead of picking and choosing the ones you like and ignoring the rest.
So, all of you who've ever let slip an "Oh my God" or a "Jesus H. Christ," line on up over there on the right. We'll find the seventeen people left on the planet who HAVEN'T blasphemed to come on over and give you what's coming to you.
Chapter 24 also includes the popular doctrine of "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth." I've heard this one coming out of the mouths of dozens of so-called Christians -- so let's check and see what Christ himself said on the matter, shall we? (From Matthew Chapter 5, Verses 38 through 42)
"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
Oh, that wacky Jesus! What a liberal kook!
Chapter 25 offers some advice on planting your crops (give the field a rest every seventh year! I'm no farmer, but I think there may be some merit to that one.) It continues with something about a Jubilee every 49 years, and some property laws that I'm sure aren't taught at Century 21 University.
Oh, and near the end, there's a little bit of good news for all you who long for the good old days. Let's get the word on slavery from God himself, shall we?
"Slaves, both male and female, you may indeed posess!"
Whoo hoo! Now if that doesn't sound like an argument for killing off those pesky minimum wage laws once and for all, I don't know what does.